That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
