I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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