At least make sure they are 18
Why
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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