some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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