yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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