Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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