Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
