Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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