why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
