just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
