her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
