THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Randomize