bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
