Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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