and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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