Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
