Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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