omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize