I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
