did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
