Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
