i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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