Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
