U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
