I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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