i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
now i know why i became what i already was.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
