just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
