i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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