I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
