You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
