Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
