You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize