I am puke
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
