There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
