So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
