STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
