its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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