he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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