All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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