so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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