I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wish i was in the wii world.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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