so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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