I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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