I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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