I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
