it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm bleeding and have questions
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