just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
