He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
