we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
