Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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