Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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