i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
