I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
