There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
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I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
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Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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