I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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