I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
