So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
