he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
