All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
