the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
