Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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