After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
