no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
