I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
