I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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