I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize