I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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