he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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