I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
