So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
