That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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